terrace

i've had a lot of hard conversations with people from home lately. lives are changing and loved ones are sick and people are moving away. it's not that i didn't know this would happen when i left home. it's just that i don't think i understood how hard it would be. i feel like i'm standing on my terrace and my world is just walking on by and i don't get a say in it at all. i hope i'm not being too melodramatic, but i probably am. i like or love my life here most days. but when i ocassionally get glimpses of those at home that i want to help or love better or just be there for i feel torn. is this what it feels like to grow up? i don't know. i just have to trust that my relationship with God will sustain me through it all and will take care of the details. i'll post something happier or just different in a few days.